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A long time it’s been since I’ve dreamed of you
Buy my heart’s venturing down this road again
You feel asleep on my chest
I wrapped you in my arms
And when your hand curled to hold my wrist
I never wanted to wake up
The feeling of togetherness was complete
So peaceful and so sweet
And while I know it will probably never come to pass
I can’t shake this feeling

I’ve waited too long
And now the sun is setting
The chill of the evening wind
Reminds me of what I should not be forgetting
The glare of the setting sun
Is nothing compared to your eyes
Your brash admonishment a reminder
Of where my path lies
The direction of this fate
Is one I don’t want to contemplate

Tell me what’s my worth in this world
Because tonight I just can’t see it
I can give you the best advice in the world
But for some reason I just can’t heed it
They say you can be what you want in this world
I’ve tried but I’ll never be it
All I ever wanted was to be in love
But it’s clear I’ll never achieve it.

Duality, causality, an infinite abyss
How much acreage does this come with
So many parallels the lines just blur
Left wondering where traces of one’s self once were
A handshake, a heartbreak, a path to tomorrow
Pointillism paintings on canvas we borrowed
Too much of this, not enough of that
Machine-gun reasoning: rat-a-tat-tat-tat

I’m doing it
Because I can’t stand this anymore
I’m doing it
Because  I have to believe there is something to live for
I’m embracing today
And I’ll embrace tomorrow
And every day that follows
I’ve been in your shadow far too long
Now I need to find where my sense of self belongs
I need to stop listening to your voice
Which tells me to wait for another day
Which finds faults in almost every way
Which does all it can to keep me this way.

What is it about night in the city
That seems so transforming
The lights
The bustle
Will its lure transplant your meager dreams
So much empty importance conveyed by LCD screens
Concrete constructs with their paint pealing
Starbright signs casting their master’s message
Automobiles as automatic as their aviators
Sickly sweet swirls of newness and decay
But yet it still makes you feel
As if it could make things more real
Like the last realization as the old falls to the new
Remade like a movie you could be too

Goodbye romantic love
You’ve caused me nothing but pain
Brief delusions of happiness
Then returned yet again
To this sad and tired refrain
If you believe in a deity
Can you ask them for me
What did we do
To deserve this torture and misery

Ella Fitzgerald, save me
Your voice is like being wrapped in a sea of tranquility
With notes ringing out so clear
All the problems disappear
The nuance, the passion, the gentle vibrato
With a range that never leaves that pleasing alto
Your notes resonate in my soul
And my constraint on calm loses control

Recently, I had the unique experience of watching a dream die. This isn’t to say it was a positive or negative experience, but just a realization of the moment. This poem is about the dream that died and that moment.

I watched a dream die today
Though its been a while since it had any hope anyway
Still it brought back all those memories
Of dark times when you were the only light for me
Reminding me of life beyond cynicism, pain and doubt
Your beauty shines inside and out
But the demons in me kept me from telling you
Of how I felt about you

Sometimes, people just don’t take a hint. What’s worse is when those are people you once cared about. This is what the following poem is all about.

Why don’t you leave me alone
I can’t go on like this anymore
You are always depressed
I always cared more than I should
I wanted to do anything I could to make you happy
You always shut me down
You always shut me out

Anytime you needed me
I dropped everything and was there
You confided everything in me
But the one time I asked you to be there for me
You were nowhere to be found
Then I realized how one sided our relationship really was
And how I was keeping it alive by a misguided dream
So I shut you down
So I shut you out

Now you send me letters
Saying things you know you shouldn’t say
Saying things that once would hold sway
Don’t think it’s easy for me to have shut you out
It tears me apart, but I cannot continue like this
Those feelings just didn’t go away
I locked them up since they could never be used
But those feelings you continue to abuse

Leave me alone
My heart’s an open wound
Yesterday has passed and you can’t bring it back for tomorrow
When the truth came out, it hurt too much
I can’t forget that
I can’t let it go
So I have to let you go